E3 Spoilers – 2018

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It was worth the flux capacitor

Not long now! Leaks are already starting to spring up. All the developers and publishers are desperately trying to be first on the E3 press bus to get those tasty takes on the comments and be the most trendiest of trendsetters. Luckily for you, I’ve been to the future and have come back just to give you all the facts! That’s right, you read it here first. All that happened at E3 2018 before you see it for yourself. Just don’t tell too many people or the time police will get me again.

Fallout New Scunthorpe is revealed

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YOU CAN ALMOST TASTE THE BREXIT

Giving those genius writers and designers that made Fallout New Vegas the tools and code of Fallout4 and seeing what they can do with it was a no brainer. The ability to focus on speech, the extras like hardcore mode and the little side quests that are brilliant and deservidly get their own amazing articles. With all this in mind and people eagerly waiting for a new entry in the series Bethesda shock the crowds with an announcement that the series will take a drastic turn and the location shifted from America to England. Not just anywhere in England but an area with a hidden cuss in the title. A new New Vegas is just what the doctor ordered and everyone quickly adapts to the idea of seeing a Brotherhood of Greggs. The free rad packs at the press launch were a nice touch but unfortunately nobody realised they were alcoholic until it was too late. I don’t think the Sonic mascot is ever going to be quite the same again.

Fortnite gets a release date for 2019

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HE’S BEHIND YOU!

Don’t forget, it maybe currently into season four but Fortnite is still in early access! That much money, changes, events and success and it’s still not finished? Given the way the PVE (remember it has the Take Back The World mode?) will be free to play you didn’t expect them to ever give it a definate date. Why would they take players from the super succesful battle royale mode? Fortnite has changed so drasticaly that its hard to see this happening anytime soon but this is why it blows up the stage. Everyone’s shocked and surprised by the definitive date. Epic Games share prices skyrocket and the world becomes so engrossed in learning how to play Fornite nobody notices a very real meteor in the sky.

Half-Life 3 is officially cancelled

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Remember everyone, Love is an open door….

Valve just come out and say it. No more maybes, Easter eggs, fan service or anything else. The work on the new source engine for Dota 3 and Portal 3 is still on going (and this news is leaked days before the PC show) but Gabe just comes out on stage and says it like it is, “We all need Half-Life to just be done now. It’s been covered in enough ways already. I think we can all agree now, it’s time. Let’s just, Let. It. Go.” We were then treated to the highlight of the PC Gaming Show where Gabe broke out into a rendition of ‘Let it go’ with backing vocals from a surprise guest appearance by Peter Molyneux. This was before the crowds of angry fans (who up until this point had fallen asleep), woke with the purest anger and rushed the stage. Thankfully Steam already had generated so much money that Valve paid for a decent mechanical protection for this very causality and the latest HTC freeze rays worked a treat.

Jet Set Radio 3 gets shown running on the Switch

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The montage of previous titles was a hell of a way to launch this!

Using the Wii prototype that was always a rumor as a base and returning to the roots long time Jet Set fans were more than a little hype to hear about this. Blasting out new music from Hideki Naganuma and racing around the stage on a rocket powered switch. None of that JSRF nonsense people keep asking for, blinded by rose-tinted glasses but a new funky modern take on the classic using minimal motion controls for the spraying. It looked like Hover but with a less futuristic setting, more humans and cameos from classic characters. It was a lot more about the comic zany story and bringing back the funk. A bit like the Splatoon single player campaign but Jet Set Radiooooooooo! Hundreds of neon coloured switch scalpers immediately ebay their systems as “limited edition Jet Set Radio switch” to varying degrees of success.

Sony finally stop being dickbags about cross-play support and allow all games on their platform to play with others at no extra cost or effort with shocking results for everyone

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When frowning becomes more universally accepted

Cross play with Xbox, Switch, pc, mobile, vita and toaster. All the games, any games where the devs want to host the servers can be cross play from now on. Minecraft on PC and PS4? Done. New Rocket League events such as ‘Xbox vs PS4’ as a friendly weekend competition? Done. Sony pulled a “lend your friends PS4 Games” moment all over again. Going against being the typical “I’ve the most consoles sold lol”- company and did something good with it. Making this the feature that will just be the norm in future to an extreme level. I went into the conference hopeful and left playing some Unreal Tournament on my mobile against players on a classic Xbox, PS4 and Sega Nomad.

Panzer Dragoon Saga HD & Sequel trailers shown

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Hey I can dream can’t i?

To close out Sony’s conference we were thrown a huge curveball. A trailer for a HD remaster of Panzer Dragoon Saga which is being launched for Q4 2018. It was in a similar fashion to the reveal for the Shenmue 3 kickstarter but it just happens, instead of a shocking notice then slow build to confirmation over the weeks that followed we got told by Kenichiro Yoshida (of all people), “It’s already paid for, they’ve just got to finish it”.  Then just when the crowd of hyper active people dosed up with Sony water enough to see 5D in the trailers we had a teaser for yet another game. The sequel to Panzer Dragon Saga was already in production. For 2019 and this was where a Kickstarter was needed, if you back the sequel you got the HD remake. Sega exceed common sense and reality by somehow including more extras with a standard purchase than Dying Light (with its buy a house edition). The Kickstarter was further made into a bigger downer when Sony sent around silver buckets into the audience and asked for donations to make anything happen for the next 20 years.

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