Games that feel British

Depressing, grey, typically down trodden and generally a bit rude; we the British love to be an accurate representation of our climate. Queuing, the stiff upper lip and the moments of pure energy and joy when the sun or snow finally appears…. Out of season so we can complain about that to.

Anyways here’s some games that reflect our amazingly positive take on existence.

Heavy Rain – clues in the title.

Heavy Rain.jpg
JASON… JAAASSSOOOOONNN…JASON?…JASON!

Grey, brown and orange. The colours of the modern fps genre for a few years sum up the vast majority of this title and despite the few highs the game provides the majority of the time it’s a low tone of remorse and regret. Like Brexit for beginners.

The Getaway – The British GTA

The-Getaway.png
Getaway from this game. GTA London is better

Terrible driving, terrible shooting and a terrible plot. Just like real london. The series that never really grasped its potential. So closer to being a Driv3r contender but just never delivered. A bit like our male football team.

Crusader Kings 2 – Never enough qualifications and when you do have them, expect to fail.

crusader kings 2.jpg
Colours and buttons and 101 various things

Four hours into the tutorial and still no idea how to move a unit. Just like our infrastructure. Unless someone steps up to sort it we just sit in queues of nothingness waiting for a line to clear and the journey to continue. Even though we don’t really like where we’re going or where we’ve been. Least that’s the impression I get from other drivers on the m25.

Battleborn – Failed to launch.

battleborn.jpg
A time of the birth of colourful shooters, shame Overwatch killed it on arrival

Just like our economic plan for Britain; Battleborn started out well on paper, then Blizzard and Overwatch happened. Not hitting peak sales and failing to adapt to the market the only way was down. Much like high street store Index, it was beaten by a better and more refined product until it was eventually sold off piecemeal. Destined to become Ladbrooks.

Chuckle Egg – better in every way (except when it’s not)

Chuckie_Egg_on_BBC_Micro
Ah the dulcet blips and tones of British CPUs

Nes? Master what? Nah mate. You want an Amstrad or a Sinclair! We had our own gaming climate with different Pc programmable systems that were the pc gaming early age. What better piece of software greatness to personify this than a yellow farmer collecting eggs from pink and blue birds.

Theme Hospital – pure British humour, by a defunct British studio

theme-hospital
Doctor required in inflation room!

One of our best and most arguably hardest traits as a Brit to understand is our humour. We rip the piss out of people we love, we laugh at inappropriate things and flip flop between clownish extremes to subtler than Trumps conscience. – See Black books and The Thick Of It for more.

Or just go to http://www.BBC.co.uk and check the latest news for more….

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